By Juan C. Ayllon If you’re like me, sometimes it takes the painful prick of disappointment to get you to take a hard look at what you’re doing. I’m turning 59 in a couple months and with the specter of retirement not far off, I still spend great gobs of spare time listening to music and evaluating stereo equipment. And it’s not like I’m getting rich doing that, as my wife reminds me. Why, Oh Why? Maybe it’s a way to unwind, to relax after a stressful workday, and perhaps a way to distract from the angst of figuring out what I’ll do after my primary career ends—especially since, right now, my dreams of being a full-time writer don’t show signs of being fiscally viable anytime soon. Also, let’s face it: I love listening to music; I always have, especially if it sounds good. Either way, it conjures criticism of the great heavyweight champion, Joe Louis, and how he spent countless hours listening to jazz records in the 1930s and 40s. While I’m no Joe Louis, I can see how, when taken to extreme, it’s trivial, even wasteful excessiveness. Don’t get me wrong: quality recordings playing on a wonderful system is fun, even intoxicating like a fine wine or cigar, but if I spent all my free time indulging, some would suggest an intervention is in order. Don’t Poop Where Others Eat In the meanwhile, it’s good to be mindful that for others, it’s their livelihood and life’s work in a narrow niche market, calling to mind a famous quote from Dudley Moore’s loveable drunk in the 80s movie, Arthur: "It's a terribly small, tiny little country. Rhode Island could beat the crap out of it in a war. THAT'S how small it is." (Arthur) As a reviewer, I sometimes forget that. Although I try my best to be diplomatic and thoughtful, sometimes I have lapses. I can be overly self important, careless at times, and a bit brash in the bullish, china shop kind of way. When I want a big or unusual favor, one of my go-to mottos is, “they’ll probably say ‘no’, but they just might say ‘yes’.” No doubt, these are irritants to some. But, here’s the rub: bottom line, my skills, time and friendship are valuable, and when I feel they’re being taken for granted or short changed, I can be a bit blunt and short sighted. This can be problematic. Words as Bullets “Words are like bullets; once you’ve fired them off, you can’t call them back,” a friend once advised. I felt the full weight of that truth recently when, following a misunderstanding with an industry insider, I sent an unfortunate email in haste. Now, despite my apologies, the damage appears irreparable. Not only did I lose some nice contacts, but friendships, as well. “You were in the wrong,” my wife assured me—in love—while brushing on her eyeliner in the master bath this morning. Still, I thought we were good friends. Guess I miscalculated on the strength of our bond and the impact of my words. “When I’m angry and about to send an email, I ask myself if I’d like it plastered on the front page of a newspaper,” my stepson Ryan (a lawyer) offered, adding, “I often wait ‘till the next day to hit, ‘send.’” That’s great advice, as were the words of friends encouraging me to be gracious in all matters and to call when faced with peccadillos like this in the future. Too bad we don’t get re-dos in life. Easy Does It Listening to wise counsel after the fact, I think I’m going to slow down a bit, spend more time with my family, focus a little more on my long term plans, health, friendships, and other interests. I will seek to be more intentional and deliberate in all things, including audio. I have plenty. Maybe it’s time to simply enjoy what I have. Breathe. Take in the blessings. I’m good. And, of course, sometimes, I’ll simply sit back and enjoy the music. Work Cited Arthur. Written and directed by Steve Gordon, starring Dudley Moore and Liza Minnelli, Orion Pictures, 1981.
2 Comments
Daniel Starr
3/1/2020 05:36:38 am
Juan, I retired in June, 2016 after a lifetime in education. My last 25 were as a HS principal & superintendent. We share this along with a love of good music played well! I try to have an hour each day to listen to music, either with headphones or through my Totem speakers.
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3/1/2020 07:13:47 pm
Hi Dan,
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Juan C. AyllonA writer, artist, educator and owner of Prairie Audio Man Cave, he lives with his wife, Isabel (AKA Belle), and their Goldendoodle, Liam, enjoys listening to high fidelity music and all things hi-fi at their home in the greater Chicagoland area.. Archives
March 2024
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